Fuck the Facebook News Feed

By Kelly Grace Thomas


Fuck the Facebook News Feed

before this virtual virus I was quietly content

Now I want to take back all those wasted hours I’ve spent.

Sure, I can handle megapixel moderation

but this constant narration,

of status sensation,

lays the foundation 

of fuming frustration

to my constantly insecure, do-I-look-okay, ego deflation.

Because all the Instagram fame and check-ins to “Awesome, USA”

Every time I log in online,

only add affirmation,

to this hurtful translation

that everyone in this fucking nation

has a life much cooler than mine.


Facebook, the drug that drags me in a room

forcing to connect and collide 

with hundreds

of my closest “friends.

Their walls stenciled with all the look at me’s and do you remember whens.

Those exquisitely edited photos,

pre-created emotions.

Cropped and photo shopped

in severely censored creations.

Documenting and displaying

the celebration of self-proclamation

to the education of the inebriation

we are slaves to this upload nation

trying to feed a notice me starvation.

Forget happiness,

attention is the new fixation .


Facebook, I sure you'll claim innocence, I’m not trying to offend.

But your superficial surface is only pretending to befriend  

The comments, the likes, the timeline, even though put artfully

have made me realize, Facebook, you're my cyber bully.



All the weddings and the photos albums, white sandy beaches with a raising tide

My caption’s still tagged always a FaceBook bridesmaid, never a News Feed bride

The kid from algebra class, eight grade

with the unibrow,

whose friend request I hesitantly accepted,

now has a show on HBO

and my screenplay got rejected.

The best friend who didn’t return my call

but posted on each and every wall,

commenting and liking

people she has never liked

for liking a comment that was likely

to suck.

The ex-boyfriend,

and even though it hasn’t been that long

is now listening to a different song,

she’s tiny and blonde

so I ask you News Feed

what did I do wrong?


God, News Feed

why you got to be so mean?

This cycle of comparison

A look at mentality

But maybe we should realize

Facebook ain’t reality


I tried to go cold turkey

but needed the update fix.

These pics of pretty people sure

turn some taunting tricks.

They make me debate

and decimate, deprecate

always behind the eight.

I need to educate

to lose some weight,

to clean the slate,

to believe in fate.

But seriously

Where the fuck is my soul mate?


With a flat tire,

on this California cyber dreaming interstate,

I sit and wait

for the guy, the picket fence, the dream.

This pause in my timeline makes me want to scream.

News Feed by now it’s obvious this was never about you

I’m just drunk on this two-steps-behind, not-where-I’m-supposed-to-be déjà vu.


I’m sorry News Feed, you’re not blame

You just seem like an unignorable scoreboard in this big fucking game

Of life and love and figuring out this shit

I refuse to run your treadmill timeline

It’s over New Feed.  I quit.