Chemical Dependency

By Kelly Grace Thomas


I want you to be the bad habit I kicked.

heart ache fix no longer feed.

You asked me to stay, slamming the door in my face.

Standing me up on the corner of potential,

shaking on sidewalks, tears glowing in the headlights,

knowing without opening your mouth, you would assign blame like a name tag.


And for years I thought that’s all I was.

This chemical dependeny,

 I still look for after each glass of wine.

To celebrate something I really fought for.


I want the taste of you.

I remember how your compliments felt on my tongue.

You dismantled my heart.


I dreamt of you last night,

wandering through your empty house,

counting the missing furniture.


I climbed in your oversized bed, flipping through memories till you came home,

wanting to drink the scent of you in the hug of the sheet.

You never showed.


I am still waiting.

Begging for the same thing,

in reds of midnight confessions.

Remembering when you used to get me high.